Being the best friend you know how.

How does one become a better friend?
Do you think I'm being a good friend if I see you fucking up and I don't say anything? Or worse, I lie to you and tell you that you're doing just fine? Is that being a good friend? Do you think you're being a good friend to me if you do that?
I don't! I expect each and every one of you to call me on my bullshit when you see it. Tell me there's a better way when you know of one. And above all, let me slide when I tell you something you don't want to hear.
No matter how tough a lesson you try to teach me, I'll never hold it against you.
I'm reminded of two lost friendships I'd like to tell you about.
Both are women I knew and helped in every way that I became aware I was able. In both cases I felt as though I was forced into an action that effected them and in both cases that action was enough that they decided to turn on me and never forgive me.
In the first case, the gal appeared as though she was going to commit suicide. All the signs were there. Relentless depression to the point that she could not even speak without breaking down in tears. The anguish she was experiencing was apparent in every interaction I and every mutual friend had with her. One day she called and the conversation had the air of wrapping up loose ends. Sort of like closing the books on things. Settling debts. Getting her affairs in order. A classic sign of an oncoming suicide attempt. I checked with the mutual friends we had and they all said she had similarly contacted them.
They all thought she was on the edge too, but they wouldn't do anything for fear that she would hate them for it. I called the police and told them what I thought she was going to do. They told her I was the one who called and she never forgave me for it. But she's alive today. I saw her recently. She isn't angry with me anymore and she came out of her depression and built a better life for herself. I don't know if my call had anything to do with it or not, but when I made the call I saw no other option. That day, the day I called the police, I was the best friend I knew how to be.
The second case is not one where I recognize having even did anything. This friend put me in an ethically untenable position and I was forced to make her deal with a situation she created. I helped this person in lots of ways over the years, but none of that mattered. The entire time I've known her I have been the best friend I knew how to be. This situation drove her to become irrationaly angry and decide that the issue was all about things I can't even comprehend.
I was shocked by the level of her raging anger and her deliberate attacks as a result. I really thought we were better friends than that.
Now our mutual friends, dozens of them, are saying "we" have had a falling out. "We" have had nothing of the sort. "She" is so angry with me that nothing else matters.
My feelings are the same as they have always been. I'm wounded by her actions, but I'm hopeful that they were just the heat of anger and one day she'll decide to let go of the anger and remember that we are friends.