Unrequited friendship.

Some people believe that eventually the people and things they really like will like them back. There are people I like who I wish would like me back. OK, OK, OK...so they're almost all women and I really wish they did more than just like me back. If you're reading this, you're probably not one of them. There are some men on the list too, getting back to celebrities from yesterday's posting. For these people, the door is open and all they need do is step through. In most cases I've resigned to the fact that if they haven't by now, they probably won't.
Let's talk about other forms of unrequited friendship. The things in our lives.
Tobacco!
Tobacco was my friend for many years. About 25 of them. I smoked a lot too. As near as I can tell I smoked about 350,000 cigarettes! When I started, they were 50¢ a pack. When I quit, they were hitting about $3.50 a pack. All along the way I had set benchmarks. When they hit $1.00, I'm quitting. Then it became $1.50, etc. In the end, I quit in an attempt to save a relationship I was in. It only prolonged the inevitable. She didn't care if I smoked or not anyway. As long as I could keep up dancing Hustle or Cha Cha, everything was just fine with her (when it came to my health).
But what did I get from all those years of smoking? Fucked up lungs. COPD. Not to mention the money I spent, and now continue to spend for a host of meds. I still remember that first drag of the morning...after the ten minute hacking, drive-heave session I would often wake up to. When I was married, the woman I was married to smoked too and the second hand smoke compounded the situation. Still, that first hit. That cigarette after a meal. They all seemed so satisfying, in spite of the smoke in the eyes and hacking. What was I thinking? Tobacco is no longer my friend.
Food
Food was and still is my friend. I love a big hunk of dead bloody cow meat! I love it so much that I eat one almost every day. And chocolate! MMMmmmmmm. Food has been such a friend to me that I've eaten too much of it for the last 20 years or so. The most I ever weighted (that I know of) was 285#. Last year I hit a low (recent) of 201# and I've been creeping back up through the winter. I need to drop a few pounds...again! One thing about food that many people will tell you is that if you get enough exercise, you can eat just about whatever you want. I buy in to that idea...mostly. But what do I get from food?
I'm past the point where I turn to it for "feelings." That's a big mistake, and I think it's a mistake that is common around the things I'm talking about today. We turn to these things to get feelings, and these things can't give us feelings. We give ourselves feelings. These things only stimulate them. I still associate food with feelings. Especially chocolate, but I no longer turn to food to get the feeling. Now, the feeling is the activity around which the food is presented. Supper with someone special. Feeding (or being fed) a chocolate dipped strawberry. The activity and the company provides the feeling, the food only helps to anchor the memory.
Drugs
Alcohol, pot, cocaine and stronger drugs (for some of us) all give us feelings. There is frequently a very unpleasant feeling (aftermath) that comes with it. Alcohol...hangover. Pot...paranoia and often pot-hangover. Cocaine...OK, well you got me on this one. I guess there's the melancholy when you run out. Crank fries your brain. Heroin is highly addictive (but not as bad as tobacco); it exposes you to a criminal element of society that could place you in danger; and it's largely unsanitary. I hear the high is pretty good though, if you don't mind puking ten minutes into it.

These are all forms of unrequited friendship. We turn to these things looking to ease the pain and turmoil of life. They gives us a short respite, then collect their toll.
Is there a thing we can turn to to ease the pain of life that will give us more, instead of making us pay back? Maybe.
Exercise
Here's the one thing that seems to really give a feeling. For the most part, the more exercise you get, the better you feel. If you overdo it, you might sustain an injury. Barring that, the rule seems to hold true. It's good for you too. Now that I think of it, I should go out and get some.
Happy Sunday friends!